Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize