They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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