Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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