I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
