Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
