my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
