I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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