Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
