i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
