i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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