she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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