I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
