I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
