end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
