Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im holly from the hills drunk
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize