: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
whose ass print is on the piano?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
