check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
