Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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