You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
