Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
