I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I die, sorry about rent.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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