What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
