I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
