you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
