two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
