I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
