I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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