put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
