its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
