just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
