I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
