Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize