I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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