my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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