Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize