Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize