They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
