Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
