Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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