we have pet lesbian snakes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
