why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
