God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
