my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
