i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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