Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize