Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize