I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
