we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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