Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
