Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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