I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
