I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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