I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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