I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
