I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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