It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
