i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
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She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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