Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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