Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
