Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
