guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
