I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize