3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
