we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
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I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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